Valentine’s Day Ode to the Filet-o-Fish

It’s Valentine’s Day, and my lady is out of the country visiting family – so I have to dedicate this to my first love, the Filet-o-Fish.  Sure, you may think it’s weird that I’m in love with the Fish Filet.  But after I had that first bite, I never really had a choice in the matter.

Our story begins before I was even born.  My dad moved to this country in the 70′s from rural South India.   He moved to Boston solo, to a land of strange cuisine.  When you are used to chicken curry, bland American food doesn’t cut it.  He told me that the one sandwich that agreed with him was the “Filet-o-Fish”; and he ate them pretty much everyday until Mom and rest of the family moved to the States.  So you see, my love and appreciation for the Filet-o-Fish was passed down like any other hereditary trait.  I never really had a choice in not loving the Filet-o-Fish, my genes were pre-wired to love it.

To the sandwich itself, and my is it a beautiful creation.  Let’s start with the bread.  The bread here is different than the bread in other McDonald’s burgers.  The bread was raised like it had a top-notch private education and was told that “anything is possible.”  Instead of going to Harvard Medical school, the bread decided to follow in the family business out of the love.

The fish in the sandwich is a perfect square of excellence.  You take a bite out of the fish and you feel the exhilaration of the good parts of the movie “Finding Nemo”, all up in your mouth.

The tartar sauce isn’t too hard to explain, tartar and fish go together like peanut butter & Jelly, Jordan and Pippen, Justin Bieber and poor decisions.  But it’s the cheese that puts it over the top.  You have yourself a fish sandwich, but it’s that motherf*cking cheese that take a fish sandwich to the Filet-o-Fish.   The cheese transforms the sandwich from a mundane plain Jane to a tasteful nude scene in a HBO series (True Detective, holla).

Like any good partner, the Filet-o-Fish is flexible.  Replace that tartar with ketchup.  Get wild and throw some fries in the sandwich.  The Filet-o-Fish loves you no matter how you get down with it.

You’ll criticize my love of the sandwich because it is a chemical creation of McDonald’s scientists.  That doesn’t knock down the fish filet in my eyes.  The Filet-o-Fish is just chemically perfect.   Grab your lady/dude if you got one.  Grab a Filet Fish no matter what.  It’ll be a good Valentine’s Day, bet.

- Big R

Sorry, comments for this entry are closed at this time.