Peace to Dave Ellis

Crazy to think it has been 8 years since Dave left us.   I’d like to think he’d be happy with my efforts to finally get off my ass and re-do this website to include his writing.  I can hear him making fun of me like “Big R, you rarely write for the site and its mad weak.  Get my shit up there son!!!”  In honor of the main man, I compiled a Spotify Playlist of certain tracks from Dave’s “Personal Soundtrack” aka the section in his columns where he listed songs he was feelin’.  Peep the Hip-Hop focused mix below:

 
 
Quick thoughts:

I havent updated the page in a week or so because I was out of the country.  Excuses, excuses know.  I missed the NFC Championship Game and therefore missed Richard Sherman’s incredible post-game interview.  His interview with Erin Andrews channeled his inner Ultimate Warrior.   The racist stuff in reaction to the interview was poor, although Erin Andrews should win the Oscar for her interpretation of “White Flight” (too soon?).  Sherman is a Stanford graduate who gave a passionate response in an interview, athletes never do that!  It’s usually just cliches and nonsense.  I doubt we’ll get passion/excitement from athletes going forward, and that sucks.  I hope Richard Sherman gets 6 interceptions in the Super Bowl so when he gets interviewed after the game he’ll be so hype he’ll rip out a reporter’s heart, Temple of Doom style.  Kali Ma, Seahakws Dev.

Justin Bieber got a DUI and apparently people are surprised, angry, and care quite a bit about his actions.  America gives him headlines, showing we care about his indiscretions, yet if you look at Bieber’s mugshot it looks like he could care less.   Not one fuck appears to be given, and who can blame him?  He’ll get off these charges and use this press to promote a new record.

The NBA is mad good right now.  The best player playing at the moment isn’t even LeBron, it’s KD35 aka Slim Reaper who is scoring at will like a deranged Wilt Chamberlain (with less venereal diseases.  By the way, if Kevin Durant ever gets a venereal disease I suggest his new nickname be VD35).   The Knicks collapse is absurd theater, with some of the best GIFS in NBA history being unleashed to tell the tale of the misery.   The Lakers are objectively terrible, with only their real fans standing by that dumpster fire.   You know their struggles will last less than a season before they get Love / Westbrook and like Jabari Parker.  My Rockets are looking relevant tho, looking forward to a solid second half of basktball.

My favorite political story ever is Chris Christie’s aides using their political power to cause a traffic jam in a city with a mayor who didn’t endorse Christie.  Governor Christie blamed his aides and fired them with the quickness, which actually bodes well for his Presidential chances.  Christie may actually drop a few pounds to fight the “he’s too fat to lead” criticism because throwing people under the bus is a fantastic workout.

OK people, I’m out for now. Have a safe and awesome weekend.

Big R

This Chris Faust joint “Pudge” is smoooooooth

An emcee formerly known as Print, who had the ILL “Super Friendz” comic-book joint with like fourteen rappers, has a new single under his new moniker aka actual name, Chris Faust.   The song isnt just rapping about rapping, but features Faust’s personal issues with poor diet and resulting heavy weight as a kid.  The beat is provided by Omid G and features live instrumentation and is sooooo soulful man.  Enjoy.

Monday Artist Playlist – Et tu, Rjd2?

I’m going to try to make this a weekly thing – uploading a spotify playlist dedicated to an artist/producer/etc.  This weeks mix is dedicated to producer Rjd2, which means you are in for a mix with dope instrumental tracks, some soulful hip-hop, rock, and other genre-bending goodness.  Peep the mix below:

 

 

 
Spotify forever though.

-Big R

New Cyrus Tha Great – “New Style”


The main man Cyrus Tha Great is back with a new album , King Kong Aint Got Sh*t On Me. The cover is to the left, and it is already my favorite cover I’ve seen in many years.  Who is the lion man who killed King Kong?  Is it a man with a lion mask, or a half-lion/man?  What futuristic city are they in?   These questions will be answered later when I pester Cyrus about them.  Cyrus Tha Great is a hip-hop producer with a boom-bap style, known for working with artists like Skyzoo and his own group Film Skool Rejekts (their records are boom-bap fire, by the by).

Cyrus is creating his own album, which will feature a number of emcees like Roc Marciano, Torae, and many others.   All of the beats will be provided by Cyrus, which is a good thing.  Below is his first single/video for “New Style” featuring Vaughn Garcia of M-1 Platoon.  The beat is fierce, a dark, menacing loop that Vaughn gets aggressive on.   I can’t say I’m the biggest fan of the chorus, I guess I’m just like Blu on “Narrow Path” and just want to hear that beat ride.

If this is evidence of things to come for Cyrus’s record, this record could be special.  The album should be released this spring, with a tentative date in April of 2014.  I’ll post more about the record as I get more information.

Check Cyrus’s bandcamp page to purchase the single

 

 

- big R

 

Letter from Vince McMahon to Dennis Rodman

Dear Dennis Rodman,

It’s me, your old friend, Vincent McMahon.  I’m the ridiculous muscles and brains behind the WWE.  Look at my picture above, you know all you need to know about my success from this image.  I’m 60 with the muscles to take down the Roman army and a billion-dollar smile that can outshine the sun.  And I’ m writing you Dennis, because I want you to join the WWE.

You are a Hall of Fame athlete with some wrestling pedigree, as you fought on a WCW PPV with Karl Malone.  Honestly, no one really saw that because only inbred Georgians and family members of WCW employees watched that sub-par nonsense.  What I saw in your interview with CNN (embedded into this physical letter because I’m a wizard like that), was a man who has all the intangibles beyond athleticism necessary to the WWE superstar.


The first thing you have going for you is your willingness to befriend a noted despotic dictator who is an enemy of the US.  This sort of shtick works wonders in the WWE, remember when Sergeant Slaughter sold out America to suck up to the 80′s version of Kim Jong-Eun, Saddam Hussein?!  I dont fault you for taking your friends to make money on basketball with a man who has labor camps that’d make the fictional leaders in the Hunger Games blush – no I’m all about getting them checks.  Americans overlook rich corporations making money off of dictators/despots across the country (that oil gwap).  Hell, famous singers sing for complete asshole dictators all the time – Jennifer Lopez recently got paid millions to sing for the controversial leader of Turkmenistan.

No, Dennis, I believe you should be able to profit off of your basketball skills in this manner.  Playing ball never hurt nobody, and plus, you are making sure Vin Baker has work.  Keeping Vin Baker fed and clothed is God’s work.

I think you are set up for wonderful success in the WWE.  Your responses made no real sense, but you delivered them with a furious grace. You’d start with “LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING” and then follow it up with incomprehensible babble.  This is a tried and true method for successful WWE promos.  You are the perfect combination of Booker T and the Ultimate Warrior.  There is beauty in your madness, friend.

You have that “x-factor.”  You for some reason held an unlit cigar the entire time like a mob boss.  You have the facial piercings of an antsy, abandoned midwesterner.  Your poor choice in friends and lack of annunciation is evidence of some sort of substance abuse addiction, which goes hand-in-hand with the legends of the WWE.

If you aren’t sent to a labor camp by accident for your poor singing, contact me for a job at WWE.

Your hero,

Vincent McMahon

Start your Monday right with this J-Zone mix

J-Zone has been a favorite of this website and writer since way back in ’99 when J-Zone would send his music to Dave.  A lot of Dave’s posts feature gushing praise to J-Zone, as our group of high school friends literally grew up listening to J-Zone since we were freshmen in high school.  Employing J-Zone’s biting humor led to little to no success with the ladies, but hey, not everyone can successfully kick game to chicks calling them lucy lius and with lines like “Yo Baby, Yo Baby.”

His production is what sets him apart and is the sh*t, and his lyrical content is a mix of hysterical and insight these days.  J-Zone rhymes like a stand-up comedian with topics ranging from whether or not to use a condom (“Trojan War”) to the debilitating nature of hand-held electronics have on a dude’s game (“Gadget Ho.”).  Zone is also a solid writer, his first book “”Root for the Villain” is a must cop for any Hip-Hop fan with a sense of humor.

Enough of my stanning, enjoy the mix.

 

-Big R

Jay Electronica Has Won Rap Music + Thoughts from Defchild

I was talking with a few friends about who “won rap music” last year, and a few names came up like  Jay-Z for getting Samsung to buy one million copies of his album off the bat, Eminem for selling a million copies of his marshall meh-thers 2, Kanye for dominating the news, etc.  All of these artists had incredible years as far as releasing music.  However, one rapper in my eyes has retained the “Winning at Rap” Championship Belt, and that’s Jay Electronica.

I know what you are thinking – Jay hasn’t released anything this year! In fact, he really hasnt released that full-length LP that we have been expecting since 2009.  He had the forgotten feature verse on Big Sean’s “Control” and had a solid guest verse on Mac Miller’s “Suplexes inside of Complex and Duplexes.”  But in reality, Jay Electronica has still somehow remained relevant in rap fans minds as one of the best out here, yet he barely puts in any product out.   I mean, Kendrick Lamar name drops him in “Control”!

What sets Jay Electronica apart is how he has used a handful of singles and features to propel him from no-name underground rapper into a Roc Nation signee who is dating a heiress of a billionaire, Kate Rothschild pictured to the left.  Jay Electronica already has a child with Erykah Badu, a prequisite for any rapper to be considered the illest in the game, and he has apparently moved onto break up Kate Rothschild’s marriage.

All joking aside, Jay Electronica has parlayed his rap buzz into a potential fortune while still staying relevant in the rap game without even releasing a record!  Jay Electronica released his buzziest single, “Exhibit C”, all the way back in 2009. If you look at the 2010 XXL Freshman class (of which he isn’t a member for some reason), you see the following artists: J. Cole, Pill, Nipsey Hu$$le, Wiz Khalifa, OJ Da Juiceman, Freddie Gibbs, Big Sean, Jay Rock, Fashawn, Donnis.   Outside of J. Cole, Big Sean, and Wiz – the rest havent had major mainstream success.  A few have solid fan bases, and others have been forgotten.  OJ Da Juiceman’s name gave me a wave of nostalgia when I read his name, which isn’t a good look for an artist who just launched his career within the last decade, lol.

By the way, the articles on Jay Electronica and Kate Rothschild are hysterical.  The British Press, which is known for it’s tabloid nature, has a blatantly racist tilt in its articles. “The dope smoking rapper and the Rothschild heiress who could make him husband No 2” is one article from Daily Mail.  I love how they use “dope smoking” to describe Jay Electronica as some sort of monster, when that term probably applies to 90% of musicians.  It’s like describing a football fan as “beer drinking.”  It is sort of shocking that the publication doesnt hide the fact they hate that a rich white British woman whose wealth comes from old money has selected a black rapper as her boyfriend.

The other articles on Jay Electronica/Kate Rothschild are the weird ones tying Jay Electronica, and Jay-Z as label mates, to the illuminati.  Urban Daily describes the couple as the “illuminati Couple”: http://theurbandaily.com/2013/07/07/jay-electronica-and-kate-rothschild-the-illuminati-couple-explained-video/.  First off, I sweat how the article proclaims that this relationship proves the illumanti is real.  I dont understand the illuminati conspiracy theories, that there is some shadowy organization running the world.  Somehow Jay-Z is a tool/member of the organization, because he references things like free masons and pyramids.  Listen people – there are organizations that run the world, they are called major corporations, and they arent shadowy.  They are in fact the opposite of dark and shadowy, because they are usually filled with pretty much just white people in power positions.

Jay Electronica stays winning because he is still somehow relevant in the rap game without going through the hassle of making a great rap album, and has a sugar mama to cover the costs of a high priced life.  -big R

We have some thoughts on this from the main homie Defchild:

So I figured it was time to repay the immense load of shit I talked up about wanting to contribute to the SumIsh project. Y’all don’t know me, but here goes: I go by Defchild, a very close friend of Dave Ellis and much like him I’m eternally the fucking boy. Don’t believe me? Ya better ask somebody.

You will be seeing me, hearing from me, getting fresh deliveries of razor wit and all types of shit talking in the near future. Just talking shit, that’s it really.

More pertinent to this post though, is that rather than come through with my own dedicated post (which would require legitimate work – conceptualizing, writing and editing something until it sounds as dope as everything I say), I’m just gonna step in on this post Big R started.

In short, I’m on my Jay Electronica. Strictly doing features.

If you catch me as lead on anything that shit is minimum 4-years aged. But it’s all good cause, like Jay Electro, I’ve spent the last half-decade hustling hard to land me a buxom billionaire broad. But like Big R, and most of y’all out there, I’ve been bitch-bumming with middle to upper-middle class ladies – none of whom compound my annual salary in interest in the time it takes for them to fuck me, or laugh at pedantic bullshit like 26 minutes of any episode from the second season of Girls. Seriously though, that second season was garbage.

But back to Electronica. The man is looking crisp. Dude’s got the ’93 Great Britain Olympic zip-up looking like a hulked-out Luol Deng/Reggie Bush combo. He’s got the ill finger-painter looking girl on his side and his album still hasn’t come out.

Lest we get caught up in elevating dude to OG status, let’s not forget the Daily Mail article cited above claims that Ms. Rothschild was only left a cool 18 million pounds, a far cry from that billionaire stack. Either way, based on this photographic evidence and my interest in pre-judging and not doing basic research, it’s pretty clear that whatever money is rolling in is either being rolled up between a zig-zag, or spent on food that only Jay Electronica is eating. For real though, Kate, I see your wedding picture – you’re looking well-plump, hunkered down and saddled with some extra weight to barrel through 10 (?!?!) years of marriage – an unheard of term outside of major felony charges and Mobb Deep records (not mutually exclusive).

Then all of a sudden you’re looking savage in the cheekbones, rocking blanket frocks, and seen standing next to ya dude who according to this tawdry-ass tabloid is also trying to acquire another paper-thin girl.

All I gotta say, to boil this down real simple – do you, Jay Electronica. We see you. Out there. Billionaires. Fine liquors, finer foods. Thread-game serious. Twitter tree-game unimpeded. Roots maintained. Just living.

We could all learn something from this dude – potential eclipses actual accomplishment every time – at least when the competition is one to launch children’s toys at their wife when finding out she’s been getting Electron’d up on the side.

Anyhow, I gotta dip up outta here and starting scheming on my girl, fellow money-possessor Elaine Benes aka Veep aka “Julia Abso-Louis-Gonna-Marry-My-Ass Dreyfuss”.

It’s on in ’14.

- Defchild

The many faces of sadness of Childish Gambino

Donald Glover aka Childish Gambino plays a chipper, high-energy dude in the show Community.  In real life, he comes off as insecure and always look sad.  In every picture I’ve seen him in, he appears to constantly reacting to bad news, especially on the album cover for his latest release – because the internet. For example:

- Hey Donald, I’m sorry, I lost your iPhone.

Hey Donald, I’m sorry that I ran over your dog.  Dont look to your left….

 

Hey Donald, you better sit down with your teddy bear for this news.  You have full-blown gingivitis.

 

Hey Donald, I’m sorry, I totaled your car and now it doesn’t work.

Hey Donald, my bad, I’m not a real doctor.  That gingivitis I mentioned earlier is actually full-blown AIDS.

 

Dont worry though, the good news is, I really enjoyed your latest album because the internet.  While for many of us, our favorite shit from you is your acting, this record sort of flips that scenario.  The production on this record leaps across genres and is super fresh and unique.  Like the beats on the record, Gambino jumps from singin’ like Frank Ocean on joints like “Flight of the Navigator” to like boom-bap shenanigans on “Sweatpants.”  There are a few spots on this album that dont shine as bright as others (that second to last “Earth” joint kinda dragged and was oddly Euroclubby), and others that you wish lasted longer (“urn” and “Death by Numbers” – CG should just sell that “Death by Numbers” beat to someone like Nas since he didnt really rhyme on it).  The highlight for me is “Telegraphe Ave (Oakland)” which packs a heavy punch of soul, some emceeing, and solid production.  Overall, I dig this album, which isnt exactly a rap album or r&b album, but messes with both genres with an entertaining result.

You hear that Donald, I like the album and bought it!

There it is, you cant be sad in every image.

Oh yeah, Happy new year in advance everyone!

-big R

 

Hulk Hogan’s Reaction to the World Cup Draw

Taken from another blog posting I wrote on another page, but worth sharing here on Sumish.com.

OKAY BROTHER, SO IT SEEMS THAT THE WORLD CUP DRAW IS OUT AND THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IS MATCHED UP WITH GERMANY, PORTUGAL, AND GHANA.  SOME CALL THIS THE GROUP OF DEATH, I CALL IT THE GROUP OF TEAMS ABOUT TO FEEL THE WRATH OF A RED, WHITE, AND BLUE LEG DROP.  WE ARE THE USA, NOTHING HURTS US.   WHO NEEDS STANDARD & POORS RATING,WE SHUTDOWN OUR GOVT FOR THE HELL OF IT

THE ACTUAL ODDS RIGHT NOW FOR GROUP G?: Germany 91.8%, Portugal 40.2%, USA 39.3%, Ghana 28.8%.  NOT BAD, LET ME CALM YOU DOWN FURTHER AS I BREAK DOWN THIS GROUP.

PORTUGAL –
LUCKY FOR US, THIS IS AN ATHLETIC COMPETITION AND NOT A MODELING COMPETITION.  I HEAR CHRISTIANO RONALDO IS BUILDING A MUSEUM…. DEDICATED TO HIMSELF.  WHO DOES THAT?!  WE ARE GOING TO BEAT PORTUGAL SO BAD IN 2014, HE’LL NEED TO ADD ANOTHER WING IN THE MUSEUM AS A MEMORIAL FOR THE PORTUGUESE DEFEAT LIKE IT WAS A WORLD TRAGEDY.

GHANA -
YOU HAVE LOVELY BEACHES, BUT F*CK YOUR BEACHES AND THE WAY YOU STEP ON OUR TOES IN THE WORLD CUP.  THIS YEAR, WE HAVE REPLACED OUR BOOTS WITH STEEL BOOTS BROTHER.  NO MORE STEPPING ON OUR TOES!! THE STEEL BOOTS SHALL BE FIRMLY IMPLANTED UPON YOUR ASSES AS WE KICK THEM OUT OF THE WORLD CUP.  WE WILL HAVE OUR VENGEANCE AND THEN WE’LL ENJOY YOUR COFFEE THAT’S PRETTY OK.

OOOOOOOOOOOOH AND GERMANY…

DEEP BREATH

RIPS APART SHIRT
THIS GROUP HAS SO MANY ENEMIES, BUT YOU BROTHER, ARE THE WORST.  I’LL LEAVE MILITARY HISTORY IN THE PAST.  YOU MAY HAVE GIVEN US DIRK NOWITZKI, BUT THAT DOESNT MAKE UP FOR YOUR PAST INDISCRETIONS GERMANY.
HOW ABOUT 2002 BROTHER? YOU HAD TO HANDBALL YOUR WAY PAST US TO A LOSS IN THE FINALS IN 2002.  THEN YOU FORCE MICHAEL BALLACK ON US TO COMMENTATE.  NO ONE LIKES MICHAEL BALLACK.  WE WILL DEFEAT YOUR TEAM OF STOLEN PLAYERS LIKE MEHZUT OZIL WHICH SOUNDS LIKE A BAD GUY IN A LEGEND OF ZELDA VIDEO GAME.
I ALSO LIED ABOUT REFERENCING OUR PAST MILITARY BATTLES – LIKE WE STOLE SCIENTISTS FROM YOU TO WIN WW2, WE HAVE TAKEN JURGEN KLINNSMAN FROM YOU TO SECURE VICTORY.
HIDE YOUR KIDS, HIDE YOUR WIVES.  USMNT ARE COMING.


Walks away to the tune of “I am a Real American”

 

New Run The Jewels + random Spotify mix

I’m obsessed with Spotify, I literally lose hours going down the spotify rabbit hole being nostalgic and also finding awkward music.   Here is a random mix of some newer joints.  I’m loving this new ScHoolboy Q shiz.

 

Also here is some new Run the Jewels because it’s christmas time, and we all deserve treats.



-big R